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data-v-5712e8f9>读书笔记</a></li><li data-v-5712e8f9><a href="/brennan-wu-blog/read/#个人成长" data-v-5712e8f9>个人成长</a></li></ul> <div class="info" data-v-5712e8f9><div title="作者" class="author iconfont icon-geren" data-v-5712e8f9><a href="https://github.com/wyd112821" target="_blank" title="作者" class="beLink" data-v-5712e8f9>Brennan Wu</a></div> <div title="创建时间" class="date iconfont icon-rili" data-v-5712e8f9><a href="javascript:;" data-v-5712e8f9>2022-09-18</a></div> <!----></div></div></div> <!----> <div class="content-wrapper"><div class="right-menu-wrapper"><div class="right-menu-margin"><div class="right-menu-title">目录</div> <div class="right-menu-content"></div></div></div> <h1><img src="">《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》读书笔记<!----></h1> <!----> <div class="theme-vdoing-content content__default"><h1 id="《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》读书笔记"><a href="#《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》读书笔记" class="header-anchor">#</a> 《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》读书笔记</h1> <p><img src="https://cdn.staticaly.com/gh/wyd112821/Blogger@master/static_files/img/book.1b70gl9i2okg.webp" alt="book"></p> <h2 id="思维导图"><a href="#思维导图" class="header-anchor">#</a> 思维导图</h2> <p><img src="https://cdn.staticaly.com/gh/wyd112821/Blogger@master/static_files/img/mind-map.5yk4gaj229s0.webp" alt="mind-map"></p> <h2 id="投射-是一种心理防御机制"><a href="#投射-是一种心理防御机制" class="header-anchor">#</a> <strong>“投射”是一种心理防御机制</strong></h2> <p>所谓“投射”是指把自己的性格、态度、动机或欲望，“投射”到外界的人或物上，通过这种防御机制个体来保护自我免受伤害。这种方式把内在的情绪投射到外界来缓解内在的压力，还有一种更高级的方式，叫投射-认同，意识是你投射出去的情绪，对方接受认同并表现出相应的反应。</p> <h2 id="抑郁症的-三低-表现"><a href="#抑郁症的-三低-表现" class="header-anchor">#</a> 抑郁症的“三低”表现</h2> <p><strong>情绪低落、思维迟缓和意志消沉</strong>，对所有事物失去了兴趣，对任何活动都缺乏动力，包括基本的吃喝拉撒，回到自己的内心世界里，不愿意与外界接触，严重的抑郁症患者往往表现出邋遢的情况。</p> <h2 id="你人生的痛苦都是自己一手谋划的"><a href="#你人生的痛苦都是自己一手谋划的" class="header-anchor">#</a> 你人生的痛苦都是自己一手谋划的</h2> <p>每个成年都经历过这样或者那样的痛苦，有人甚至陷入抑郁的沼泽无法自拔，然而，如果你没有学过心理学，你一定不会意识到，原来你人生经历的大部分痛苦，其实是你一手谋划并造成的。</p> <p>说到底，是我们选择了自己的感受。我们选择了愤怒，我们选择了悲伤。<strong>别人或许会影响或说服你，可最后，是你自己在决定要选择什么样的感受</strong>。</p> <h2 id="每个人都是儿童状态-父母状态-以及成年人状态-三位一体的存在"><a href="#每个人都是儿童状态-父母状态-以及成年人状态-三位一体的存在" class="header-anchor">#</a> 每个人都是儿童状态，父母状态，以及成年人状态，三位一体的存在</h2> <p>当我们处在儿童状态时，行为表现就像个长不大的孩子，总是在扮演弱小可怜的我，总是从童年视角看到问题，于是他潜意识就会将人生过成我可怜兮兮的状态。</p> <p>当我们处在父母状态时，言行都是在重复从父母那学来的观念和价值观，会想证明给别人看，让别人接受自己的价值观。</p> <p>当我们处在成人状态时，才能更好的了解自己，我们会对自己的言行以及情绪负起100%的责任，会更爱自己，能理解自己内心的情感世界，并能掌控它。</p> <p>成人状态的我们会尊重自己的感受，不会去讨好谁，也不会去迁怒于谁。 因为没有任何人能让我们受伤，除非我们允许他伤害我们，没有任何人可以虐待我们，只要我们足够自爱。</p> <p>当我们拥有可以选择自己情绪的能力时，就是一个合格的成年人了。这样当问题再次来袭时，我们不会轻易以儿童状态或者父母状态这种应激本能去为人处事时，人生会豁然开朗。</p> <h2 id="人生坐标"><a href="#人生坐标" class="header-anchor">#</a> 人生坐标</h2> <p><img src="https://cdn.staticaly.com/gh/wyd112821/Blogger@master/static_files/img/image-20211023121904107.4bvdqhbzag40.webp" alt="image-20211023121904107"></p> <p><strong>我不好，你也不好</strong></p> <p>处于“我不好，你也不好”心理地位的人，其人生态度是“分裂”的或“绝望”的，他觉得自己不行，别人也不行，即使好，也好不到哪里去。</p> <p><strong>我不好，你好</strong></p> <p>处于“我不好，你好”心理地位的人，具有一种“抑郁”的人生态度。</p> <p>健康的“我不好，你好”，表现为那些讨好，特别喜欢亲近人，希望获得他人的认同，所以比较擅长人际交往，特别适合做与人打交道的工作；</p> <p>不健康的“我不好，你好”，更多表现为抑郁和逃避。严重的时候，会形成讨好型人格、表演型人格，甚至自虐型人格。更严重的时候，会得抑郁症，所以是输家脚本。</p> <p><strong>我好，你不好</strong></p> <p>处于“我好，你不好”心理地位的人，具有一种“偏执”的人生态度，他总是觉得我是对的，你是错的。</p> <p>他们的社交风格倾向于“摆脱”或“对抗”，他总是要摆脱某个他所认为的笨蛋或者坏蛋。他们的格言是“不怕神一般的对手，就怕猪一般的队友”。同时在他们内心里，如果有人比他们更厉害，赢过了他们，那一定是用了不道德的手段。</p> <p>因为他们总是觉得自己是对的，所以常常因为自己的偏执而与人发生争执或冲突，他们的人际态度是“对抗人”或“回避人”，常扮演的角色是“挑剔者与批评家”或“迫害者与拯救者”。</p> <p>短期内，他们好像赢了，战胜了别人。但从长远来看，如果“我好，你不好”的人，迫害或者贬低了身边所有的人，就会受到大家的排斥，所以最终会成为输家。</p> <p><strong>我好，你也好</strong></p> <p>真正自信独立成熟的人的选择应该是：【我好，你也好】 这并不是一句口号，而是<strong>发自内心信念的行为，是一种相信自己可以主宰人生的勇敢。</strong></p> <h2 id="助人自助"><a href="#助人自助" class="header-anchor">#</a> 助人自助</h2> <p>有两个理解，一为，帮助来访者自己解决自己的问题，二来是帮助他人成长的同时，咨询师自己也获得了学习与成长的机会。</p> <p>这便是心理咨询的终极形态与最高境界。</p> <h2 id="情商和共生"><a href="#情商和共生" class="header-anchor">#</a> 情商和共生</h2> <p>情商就是理解你内心的情感世界，并且还能掌控它，<strong>能从悲伤和不幸中重新振作。</strong></p> <p>最重要的是，他们能控制冲动，也懂得延迟满足，从而避免轻率的决定和不妥的行为。</p> <p>情商和理解别人有关，一个高情商的人能辨识他人的感受。这种技能称为“共情”。</p> <p>情感智力能让你在自我成长和完善的路上走得更远，因为它将带你从独立的个体走向共生的关系。</p> 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